I was driving down US1 today with a good friend from work and my neighbor, Jess and Wyatt.  We were cruising across the 7 Mile Bridge heading for Key West.  The view from the top of the bridge was sweeping and spectacular, but nobody was looking at it.  I had a death grip on the steering wheel, eyes riveted to the dividing line on the highway.  It would have taken an act of congress to get me to look anywhere other than straightforward. I had both seen and read of many accidents where people, sadly mostly tourists, had met their end by rubbernecking while they were driving.  Jess and Wyatt were having an intense discussion about the weirdness of Claudia – an acquaintance of us all. “I saw her in the yard Tuesday mowing the lawn in heels and a dress.” Jess blabbered I actually know the story behind this, her conduct was semi-justified, for The Keys.  “Well, I saw her boyfriend taken out of her front door in handcuffs.” barked Wyatt  I also knew that this incident was a possible case of confusion, concerning a very old arrest warrant, more weirdness, but logical for here.. “Good “God”, it happened on a Sunday morning! It was the Feds and they were there with bulletproof vests, drawn guns, and a search warrant.” Wyatt continued, cursing again using another diety expletive. I wondered how could you take the Lord’s name in vain, right and left, like that when complaining about compliance to a holy day. This incident had ruined Wyatt’s morning porch coffee drinking ritual and there was general bitterness in the neighborhood over it all.  As I drove on I thought “O.K she is weird.” I could likely have added several antidotes to their conversation, but they had moved on  I started thinking about their idiosyncrasies  I knew for a fact that Jess could burp the entire alphabet, and was not inebriated while performing this feat for me. At the time there was no reason for the outburst, excluding the possible reason of pride in it.  Wyatt, on the other hand, I had seen standing on a coffee table, in a hotel lobby, singing all five stanzas of “God Bless American”. No, no alcohol involved and no, it was not the fourth of July.  In this case, Wyatt was demonstrating both: A) An audition number performed attempting to be chosen as a member of next season’s cast for the Community Theater and B) Outrage!” With talent like this why wasn’t I chosen! ”
I drove on thinking of all the silly stupid and ridiculous things I had seen, knew, and found out about local people since moving here.  The tidbits I just mentioned are puny compared to some other especially weird things I happen to know about people.  I willed myself to snap back into being realistic.  Wasn’t the person driving the car, weird? What normal person would glue their eyes to the road afraid to sneak a peek at a million-dollar view just to prevent, the off chance possibility that they might shoot over the edge of the bridge? With my own oddities and those of Jess with Wyatt – we seemed unified.  I’ll bet lots of other people do weird things and have friends that do weird things. I’m certain this must be true.  But, I will also bet; that in the real world, not here, it doesn’t happen constantly, like a way of life…

Here in The Keys, it’s all normal, even if it seems or sounds kinda weird…